A few days ago I was shocked to hear that someone I have known for almost two decades died suddenly. There was no illness, no warning. She just celebrated her 50th birthday with such excitement and was looking forward to what life had to bring. 
     As I and the many others who love her were stunned by the news, there were no words to express the pain and confusion we were left to endure. Our entire community was shaken to the core, uncertain of what to do. Suddenly, all that once was secure is now questionable. Hows and whys consume our thoughts.
     What I am learning about coping with losses of such significance, is to first allow yourself to feel whatever you feel without judging your feelings. 
     Secondly, be gentle to yourself in times of loss. Don't expect to be successful in going forward with business as usual. 
     Third. It is not unusual to spend energy and time trying to answer questions. We often feel as making sense of things will lessen the impact of the loss. It does not.
     Finally, talk about it. There is power in sharing thoughts and feelings. Finding support with loved ones or even professionally, can offer what you need to move forward in a positive way. ​

I am always amazed how different things look from the window of an airplane.  One of the reasons I love to fly is because you have the opportunity to see familiar things in such new ways. Working to keep a helpful perspective is not always easy, but obtaining this vital skill makes life more pleasant.

To keep a positive perspective:

1. Stop and think, "How is this way of thinking helpful?": When we take the time to examine our patterns of thinking we have the power to consider what is most helpful and what is not.  Then we get to change it.
2. Surround yourself with others who think like you:  Having optimistic people around you support your powerful way of thinking.  
3. Gain insight into why you think the way you do:  Many times we are simply a product of our environment.  We were taught directly or indirectly how to think about things.  Gaining understanding about these things can help even more in our effort to consistently change how we think.
4. Be patient with the process: Because we have not arrived where we are overnight, we won't get to where we want to be overnight.  Being patient with the process and yourself is vital.
5. Feed yourself with positive things:  It is often said, the part of yourself you feed is the part that will grow.  Feeding yourself with negative things and negative people lead to negative thinking.  Find positive things that feed you and commit to doing them daily.

Power to manage anything, comes from your perspective. Will you access your power?